Tag Archives: #christmas

Celebrating Christmas vicariously

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I love Christmas. I love looking at all the lights on people’s homes and all the twinkling trees inside. I love holiday cookies. And I love how some people fill every inch of their house with Christmas decorations. That being said, I am very happy to celebrate the season vicariously.

With a name like Marilyn Cohen Shapiro, you probably have realized that I have never actually celebrated Christmas. Growing up as the only Jewish family in a tiny upstate New York town, we never had a Christmas tree or strung red and green lights across our eaves. Once I married Larry under a chuppah in 1974, I continued our own Jewish traditions in December: lighting the menorah, making potato latkes, giving gifts to each other and to our children over the eight days. And never once in my life have I had the urge to celebrate the secular elements of the Christians’ beautiful religious holiday. In honor of Hanukkah, here are my eight reasons why. 

  1. I cannot untangle the wires on my earbuds. How would I ever manage to take yards and yards of Christmas lights out of storage and unwind them to put on a tree?
  2. In 1996, Larry climbed up on a ladder to shovel snow off the roof. He slipped and fell, shattering his heel. That was the end of his running life. It was also the end of Larry ever climbing up on the roof. The idea of stringing all those lights onto the eaves is frightening prospect!
  3. I look terrible in red and green. While all my Christian friends “don their gay apparel” from Thanksgiving to January 1, I am content to pull out my Israeli blue sweater, tuck my dreidel earrings into my lobes, and enjoy the holiday season with colors that compliment my blue eyes.
  4. Remember I said I love to EAT holiday cookies? That doesn’t mean that I want to BAKE them. I have never done well making sugar cookies, which requires mixing the dough, rolling it out, and then cutting them into cute little shapes. I either made them too thin (i.e. burnt) or too thick (underdone).. And forget about decorating them with tubes of frosting. I can’t DRAW a straight line! How am I to master all those borders and curlicues? 
  5. Speaking of cookies, I gave up on cookie swaps years ago. I don’t need to start baking thirty kinds of cookies in October so I could share with friends whose cookies always looked prettier and tasted better than mine. I will stick to my yearlong custom of baking what are known as “Marilyn’s World Famous Chocolate Chip Cookies” and not share a single one. 
  6. I have friends that have bins and bins of Christmas decorations stored in their attic, garage, or expensive storage units. Every inch of their house becomes a winter wonderland. They have multiple trees, dozens of nutcrackers, Christmas towels, napkins, and even toilet paper. My friend Bonnie, who loves to decorate for every holiday,  even has a twinkling alligator holding a candy cane and sporting a Santa hat! While I love walking through their homes, I am so glad I am not responsible for putting out all the tchotchkes and then packing them up for storage in January. My single decoration—an electric menorah that sits in my window throughout the eight days of Hanukkah is just fine, thank you very much!
  7. As my readers know, I love Hallmark Christmas movies. I get to see everything I have written about above in various permutations of the standard rom-com: The setting: an idyllic small town in United States where everyone, no matter what their occupation, has thousands and thousands of dollars to spend on Christmas decorations. The Plot: either boy meets girl or or two high school sweethearts reconnect; boy and girl dance around a relationship (Think “Kiss the Girl” from The Little Mermaid;); 20 minutes before the end of the movie, boy and girl face a conflict; 20 seconds before the credits roll, boy and girl kiss as snow flakes gently fall on their perfect locks as Christmas music plays softly in the background. Perfect people. Perfect families. Perfect smiles.Why face the reality of a real family when you can kvell for a perfect one?
  8. And speaking about Christmas music, I only learned recently many of the most popular holiday tunes were written by Jews. The most famous is White Christmas by Irving Berlin [born Israel Beilin]. Here is just a sampling of my other favorites: “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire” by Mel Torme [born Melvin Howard Torme]; “The Christmas Waltz” by Sammy Kahn [born Cohen] and Jule Styne; “Santa Baby” by Joan Javits and Phil Springer; “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” by Kim Gannon and Walter Kent [born Kaufman]; “It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by George Wyle [born Bernard Weissman] and Eddie Pola [born Sidney Edward Pollacsek]. Even “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” got his shiny nose from two Jews from New York City’s suburbs. Johnny Marx, who also went on to write “Rocking Round the Christmas Tree” and Burl Ives’ classic “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas,” never—like me—actually celebrated the holiday. Marks’ co-writer Robert Louis May allegedly shared with multiple sources that the lyrics actually represented the ostracism May felt growing up as a Jew with a large nose. Hey, what better way for Jews to live vicariously through Christmas by realizing those songs you are hearing everywhere were written by members of The Tribe!

So, as Larry and I walk through the neighborhood during this surprisingly cold December in Florida, I will rejoice in the shining lights and lovely music and delicious smells of Christmas emanating from my Christian friends’ homes. Then we will go home, light our hanukkiah and enjoy some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies as the candles flicker and burn, content in knowing that, for the Shapiros, that is enough. Dayanu.

Source: Albert, Maddy. “11 Iconic Christmas Songs That Were Written By Jews.” Kveller. December 22, 2020.

Bonnie’s wonderful decorations.
My preferred way to celebrate! I look good in blue!

A Hallmark Chanukah [Updated 12/24]

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As we look forward to Hanukkah this year, which falls on Christmas Day, Larry and I are looking forward to our long-standing holiday traditions. Eating potato pancakes with applesauce. Lighting candles each night. “Betting” on which candle lasts the longest. Watching Hallmark Christmas movies.

Wait! Hallmark Christmas movies? When did that become a tradition?

For as long as I can remember, I have watched Hallmark movies. For many years, the famous card company aired shows specific to the holidays—Thanksgiving, Christmas, and of course Valentine’s Day. Each two-hour made-for television episode touched my heart. Many were based on classic novels, such as The Secret Garden or Sarah Big and Tall. Others were originals, such as What the Deaf Man Heard. And as much as I loved the shows themselves, I especially enjoyed the tear-jerking commercials (Did you know you can Google them? Watch them with a box of Kleenex next to you!)

In 2001, after the major networks dropped the specials, the company launched The Hallmark Channel. Building on its many fans during the holidays, Countdown to Christmas began in 2009, a promotion of 24/7-blast of cheer that is still running today. Cookie-cutter stories, many based loosely on more expensive big screen movies, have been churned out at an amazingly fast rate, with 136 to date. That is a great deal of Deck the Halls and Jingle Bells, their favorite songs as the movies are touted to be about the spirit of the season, not religion.

Even though Larry and I watched the movies frequently over the years, what sent me over the edge was November 2016, when the election results triggered such fear and anxiety that my doctor suggested Xanax. Dr. Larry suggested an additional remedy: Turnoff MSNBC and tune into Hallmark. I was off the anxiety medication less than three months, but I still have my weekly dose of sap and sugar.

If you have watched only one or two of the productions, you have pretty much seen them all. The Christmas plot fall into two categories. Plot One: A high powered business dynamo needs to learn the real meaning of life and that he/she  can only find in a small idyllic town inhabited by incredibly cheerful people who despite their low-paying occupations (cupcake bakers, store clerks, and staff at huge inn with no guests in sight except the small cast seem to be a favorite) still can afford enough Christmas decorations to cover EPCOT. Plot Two: A poor but kind woman finds out that the incredibly handsome mystery man she is dating is actually the king of a tiny but wealthy country named after a countertop (Cambria) or china pattern (Winshire). Just before the commercial twenty minutes before the show ends, a conflict based on a misunderstanding erupts. No worries! It will be resolved with a kiss one minute before the snow starts and two minutes before the credits roll.

Until recently, Hallmark was all about white heterosexual Christians. People of color were only  seen as the best friend or the minister who marries the happy couple. Gays and lesbians were never seen. This type casting was blown out of the water in  December  2021 when the channel first aired then immediately pulled an advertisement for an event planning site that featured two women kissing at the altar. Within hours of its removal, the incident was all over the news. Within days, the president resigned. Within weeks scriptwriters began churning out stories in which gay, lesbian, and interracial romances are highlighted. By Christmas 2021, diversity was fully integrated into the holiday story lines. 

And those holiday story lines included those about Jewish families celebrating   Hanukkah. Up until 2020, the channel’s attempts at representing a Jewish perspective were major fails for me. Holiday Date. one of three 2019 Hallmark movies with a Jewish twist, involved a Joel, a nice Jewish  boy who pretends to be the boyfriend of Brittany, a nice shiksa from an idyll small town in Pennsylvania. “Hilarity” ensues when Joel, who grew up in New York City surrounded by at least one or two Christians, has no idea how to decorate a tree or make a right-sided gingerbread house or sing “Deck the Halls.” (There is that song again!) My favorite moment is when, once the ruse is uncovered, Brittany’s mother comes out of the kitchen holding a tray full of potato latkes and wearing an “Oy Vey” apron that she managed to find on the first night of Chanukah in the town’s only store. The plots of the other two, both involving interfaith romances, made Holiday Date look like Casablanca. 

In recent years, Hallmark has redeemed itself with three great Hanukkah movies: Eight Gifts of Hanukkah (2021); Hanukkah on Rye (2022); and Round and Round (2023). These three fine movies contain with a (mostly) Jewish cast and great story lines. Sure, as are all of the channel’s movies, they are schmaltzy, but they will make you kvell with Yiddishkeit pride!

So why do I—along with many others who will not come out of the closet—love the shows? Simple. They are mindless, sweet, non-political, non-violent, and always guarantee to result in a happy ending. I still cry every time King Maximillian and Allie embrace at the end of A Crown for Christmas.(Take that, you wicked Countess!) What held true for me in 2016 holds true in 2024. I need a break from news about wars and politics and environmental disasters. Grab the dreidel shaped sugar cookies and hot chocolate. It’s time for a Hallmark Christmas movie!

A Hallmark Hanukkah: Why I Still Like Cheesy Christmas Movies So Much!

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Even though the pandemic has altered our world, my husband Larry and I will still maintain many of our traditions this Hanukkah. Eating latkes with applesauce. Lighting candles each night. “Betting” on which candle lasts the longest. Watching Hallmark Christmas movies.

Wait! Hallmark Christmas movies? When did that become a tradition?

For as long as I can remember, I have watched Hallmark movies. For many years, the famous card company aired shows specific to the holidays – Thanksgiving, Christmas, and of course Valentine’s Day. Each two-hour made-for-television episode touched my heart. Many were based on classic novels, such as The Secret Garden or Sarah Plain and Tall, while others were originals. And as much as I loved the shows themselves, I especially enjoyed the tear-jerking commercials. (Did you know you can Google them? Watch them with a box of Kleenex next to you!)

In 2001, after the major networks dropped the specials, the company launched The Hallmark Channel. Building on its many fans during the holidays, the channel has churned out 136 Christmas shows to date. That means a great deal of “Deck the Halls” and “Jingle Bells,” their favorite seasonal songs, as the movies are touted to be about the spirit of the season, not any one religion in particular.

The plots of their Christmas movies fall into two categories. If you have watched only one or two of the productions, you have pretty much seen them all. 

Plot one: A high-powered business dynamo needs to learn the real meaning of life, which can only be found in a small, idyllic town inhabited by incredibly cheerful people who, despite their low-paying occupations (favorite include cupcake bakers, store clerks, and staff at a huge inn with no guests in sight except the small cast), can still afford enough Christmas decorations to cover EPCOT. 

Plot two: A kind, hard-working woman finds out that the incredibly handsome mystery man she’s dating is actually the king of a tiny but wealthy country named after a countertop (Cambria) or china pattern (Winshire). Twenty minutes before the movie ends, a conflict erupts based on a misunderstanding – but no worries! It will be resolved with a kiss one minute before the snow starts and two minutes before the credits roll.

Up until this past year, Hallmark was all about white, heterosexual Christians. People of Color were seen only as the best friend or the minister who marries the happy couple; LGBTQ+ characters were never seen at all. This policy was upended last year, when the channel pulled an advertisement that featured two women kissing at the altar. Soon after, scriptwriters began churning out stories that highlighted more diverse romances, including LGBTQ+ couples and interracial relationships.

What’s still largely missing, though, are stories about Jewish couples. Loving Leah (2009) was the closest to a true Jewish romance, featuring a non-observant Jewish bachelor who feels compelled to marry his rabbi brother’s widow to honor him via the ancient Jewish law of yibbum (levirate marriage). 

For me, though, the channel’s attempts at celebrating Hanukkah have been major fails. 

Holiday Date told the story of Joel, a nice Jewish boy who agrees to pretend to be the boyfriend of Brittany, who is headed back to her small Pennsylvania hometown to celebrate Christmas with her family. Hilarity allegedly ensues when Joel (who grew up in New York City, certainly surrounded by at least one or two Christians) has no idea how to decorate a tree or make a gingerbread house or sing “Deck the Halls.” Moments after the ruse is uncovered, Brittany’s mother comes out of the kitchen holding a tray of potato latkes and wearing an “Oy vey” apron. Of course, the two end up together, promising to observe both Christmas and Hanukkah. 

The plots of the other two 2019 Hallmark Hanukkah movies, both involving interfaith romances, made Holiday Date look like Casablanca. This year, Hallmark tried again. Love, Lights, Hanukkah!, which first  aired on December 14. recounted  the story of Christina, who was raised Italian Catholic by her  adoptive mother, discovers through genetic testing that she is 50% Jewish. Over the next eight days, she finds her family and romance. While I loved the acting, (both Mia Kirshner and Ben Savage are Jewish!) and some very authentic Jewish moments, especially those that involved singing the prayer when lighting the menorah, I still wished in the end that somehow Christina would change her name to Channah and completely embrace her Yiddishkeit roots. Oh well! Maybe next year  Hallmark will make a movie about two Jews who fall in love over dreidels and potato latkes without a Christmas tree in sight! 

So why do I – along with many others who likely keep mum about their penchant for Hallmark movies – love these films? Simple. They’re mindless, sweet, non-political, non-violent, and always guaranteed to result in a happy ending. I still cry every time King Maximillian and Allie embrace at the end of A Crown for Christmas. (Take that, you wicked Countess!) 

These feelings hold even truer in 2020: I need a break from COVID-19 and the elections and the transition. So grab the dreidel-shaped sugar cookies and hot chocolate: I’ll yet again be indulging in the holiday season with Hallmark Christmas movies!

Published on ReformJudaism.orgwebsite December 24, 2020 and in the (Capital Region New York) Jewish World on December 10, 2020.

The Holiday Card: Connecting with Others and Sharing Our Love

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The holidays are over. The greeting cards we find in our mailbox are slowing down to a dribble.Yet,  I totally understand if they arrive even mid-January. I’ve had numerous years where good intentions to get all my cards signed, sealed and delivered before the first night of Chanukah or before Christmas Eve have failed.

We were fortunate to receive many lovely holiday cards from across the country throughout the past month.  Most were simple but attractive ones from Hallmark or American Greetings. The two handmade cards, beautifully crafted pieces of art, will get saved in my memory box to enjoy again and again. Many greetings were in the form of photo cards: a picture of my great niece and nephew with their labradoodle,; a three-generation photo from a childhood friend; a picture of two friends, Santa, and their “children”-two rescue dogs.

BRINGING US CLOSER

I especially appreciated cards that included a holiday newsletter that recapped the senders’ year and shared what their family had been up to in 2016.  Reading about relatives, friends, and their loved ones, especially those that live far away from us, brought us closer together despite the miles between us.

Happily, this year, we did not receive any form of the ‘Dreaded Holiday Letter.’ You know the kind I mean. Happy Holidays! We just bought a little present for ourselves. The red Ferrari is parked in the four-car garage next to the Lexus, the Maserati, and the Tesla.  Of course we have to find the time to drive it  as we will be working around our upcoming trip to the French Riviera and our two month cruise to South America on our yacht. 

EDITS BY FAMILY

Embarrassingly, I may have been guilty of putting a little too much enthusiasm in past holiday letters. The Shapiro Year in Review was contained in a single-spaced letter with a border of dreydels or menorahs. Before I mailed it out, I would ask Larry, my husband,  and our children, Adam and Julie, to review it. Being much more private people than me, they would eliminate many of what I considered news-worthy items. “Too much information!” they would comment. The edited letters were shorter and considerably less, well, Pollyannaish.

Last year, I decided I wanted to go the photo card route. I created my masterpiece in a very short time at the Walgreens kiosk with three pictures representing our  year. One showed  Larry and me posing with Phineas and Ferb at Disney World. Another was a picture of Julie, her husband Sam, and their month-old daughter Sylvie Rose in their backyard. The third was a picture of Uncle Adam holding Sylvie.

I didn’t get them started by Chanukah, which started in early December, so I aimed for December 24. And then New Year’s. And then Martin Luther King’s Birthday. By the end of January, I purchased cute little heart stickers to add to the photo with the intention of mailing them out by Valentine’s Day. By April, I ruled out Easter egg stickers, and the ten plague stickersI found on the internet seemed a little depressing.

Sylvie was now nine months old and looked nothing like the infant in the pictures. The photo cards went into the trash, and the odd-sized envelopes are being used to pay bills that require a check and a stamp.

A NEW IDEA

Friends in England introduced us to the Jacquie Lawson website, and since then we have sent out its beautiful animated greeting cards for all occasions—birthdays, anniversaries, get well wishes, the winter holidays— to family members and friends.

I wasn’t going to repeat the photo card disaster. This year, Larry and I decided to send e-cards for the holidays. The Chanukah card, choreographed to Chanukah Oh  Chanukah, showed a lovely tree transformed into a brightly lit menorah. Our non-Jewish friends received a card set to a medley of Christmas songs that showed a sleigh making its way through a picture-perfect English village and surrounding countryside.

WELL RECEIVED

The first night of Chanukah fell on Christmas Eve, so it gave us more time to get them ready to send out. Of course we procrastinated until December 24th. Larry worked from his computer in the office getting out the Christmas cards while I worked from my laptop in the kitchen sending out Chanukah wishes to all our Jewish friends. By the time we left for the Chanukah party at our synagogue that evening, we had sent over one hundred cards with short personal notes to friends and family across the country and world.

I was a little concerned that the recipients would not bother to open them or, if they did, they would be bored with the ninety seconds of animation. We were therefore happy to receive thank you notes back from most the recipients within hours—sometimes minutes—after we clicked the send button. The e-cards were a success!

Recently, I saw the following quote in a friend’s kitchen: “Though time and miles may separate us, we have built a bridge of lovely memories to span the distance.” No matter how we share our good wishes for the holidays, and no matter when those good wishes arrive,  they all are sent and received with love and happiness.