When you’re chewing on life’s gristle….Always look on the bright side of life. Monty Python
If these were normal times, my husband Larry and I would have already flown out to San Francisco to meet our new grandson. If these were normal times, I would be writing this column in Colorado, where we would have settled into a summer rental close to our daughter, her husband, and my four year old granddaughter. These are NOT normal times! Because of COVID-19, Larry and I are staying in our home in Florida for the first time since we moved here five years ago.
The two of us are both very disappointed, but we are finding silver linings. We are healthy, we are safe, we are in a community that offers walking trails and swimming pools. We have discovered tree-lined streets, serene ponds, and quiet trails that we had not explored before until we began
And we have re-discovered each. We have never in our 46 years of marriage spent this much time together, and we are loving it. We walk or bike together almost every morning and then cool off in one of the neighborhood pools. In the afternoon, we sit on the lanai, where we work on crossword puzzles and read books. After dinner, we play three games of Yahtzee (I won the championship in May; as of this writing, Larry is in the lead for June.) Then we settle onto our couch to watch shows on Amazon Prime or Netflix. In some ways, I feel as if we are on some type of extended honeymoon.
Many of our friends, who are like Larry and I are fortunate enough to be retired and not dealing with health or financial issues, have shared with me how sheltering in place has resulted in hidden blessings.
My cousins Ruthie and Yaacov Kiflawi, who live in Washington State, have found joy in their own surroundings. They spend hours on their deck, which overlooks the Little Spokane River. Teri Chaves, who would normally be up and out of her home at 9 am, now sleeps in and then takes a leisurely walk. She then enjoys her morning coffee on her screened-in porch while watching the abundant Florida wildlife.
Teri is also using this time for intellectual pursuits and learning. In anticipation of a 2021 post COVID 30th anniversary trip to Italy with her husband Mike, Teri is learning Italian with the help of a phone app. Susan Hoff-Haynes is learning Spanish with the same app and has also taken several Great Courses. Michelle Moriya has audited free on-line courses from several prestigious universities, including Harvard, Yale, and Princeton.
Others are testing out their green thumb. Sarah Rubin designated a corner of her lanai for an herb garden; Susan sent me pictures of her raised garden beds behind her home in Upstate New York. Virginia Allain, who is complete her family’s genealogy research, is also working on establishing roots into the soil by planting her 2020 Pandemic Victory Garden. “It serves as an affirmation that I intend to be around for months to come despite this virus,” Virginia wrote in her blog. The Victory Garden. (https://findingmymom.wordpress.com/…/the-victory-garden/.)
Candace Thompson stated that the months in quarantine have been the best months of her life, giving her an appreciation for little things “A simple ride in the car really brings me joy now where it would’ve been nothing more than something else to do prior to the pandemic.” In what she calls a “true sense of agency and empowerment,” she planned ahead of the curve by stocking up on foods, creating reading and movie lists, subscribing to streaming services, and downloading workout videos on YouTube. Since sheltering in place, Candace has also joined several community-based advocacy groups that hold Zoom discussions on topics including COVID-19, racism, and the upcoming elections.
Zoom and other collaborative technologies, are being used to make closer connections with friends and family. Her friend Marilyn Tayler, who also is participating in the advocacy groups, is using the collaborative technologies to connect with old friends. Naomi Biderman Allen FaceTimes daily with her grandchildren, talking to them about their day and reading them bedtime stories.
For some families, the pandemic has meant even more time with their extended families. Since Pennsylvania’s stay-at-home order, Howie and Sandie Vipler have stepped in as the full-time day care providers for their two granddaughters, age 1 and 4. “Time—especially with our grandchildren— has become more precious since this virus has struck,” said Howie.
The pandemic has also brought the-strangers-who-live-next-door together. In March, Joy and Ross Aronson are enjoying sidewalk chats—while social distancing—with people in her community whom she had never met as they all take their daily walks. An animal lover, Joy was also pleased to meet up with people who were walking dogs that they had rescued from shelters, another positive result of sheltering in place.
In some cases, unexpected illnesses have resulted in life-saving interventions. While vacationing in South Carolina, Ira Smolowitz complained of COVID-19-like symptoms. His symptoms of dizziness and shortness of breath, they soon learned, were signs of a heart attack. Emergency surgery, five days in ICU, and three months of virtual doctor visits later, Ira feels blessed to be on the road to recovery. Ira’s wife Judy has been his rehab coach and number one cheerleader. “It’s a tough time to have medical need,” said Judy, “but we made it.”
In a similar situation, Richard Porter, a friend from Texas, had triple bypass on March 13. The day after he was released, Dallas issued a shelter in place order and the hospital that was to provide follow-up services closed its doors to non-COVID 19 patients, His wife Betsy, who spent her career as a nurse, willingly took over Richard’s cardiac rehab. Neighbors helped by providing meals and dog walking services. On May 13, Rich celebrated 60 days of recovery by completing a 3.5 mile walk. “We saw the silver lining in the slowing down of our lives that helped in Rich’s successful recovery,” said Betsy.
Sunny Hersh rediscovered—“for the umpteenth time”—how much she respects and loves her family. Her husband Scott has been painting the house and cooking wonderful meals. Her children are doing an incredible job of balancing their parental and career responsibilities. Even though her attention span seems to be getting shorter and shorter, Sunny said still “has enough bandwidth to dream about the future and appreciate all of the above!”
Others, are creating their own “silver lining” scenarios. Becky and Mark Silverstein, who have cruised 47 times in the last 20 years, re-imaged their shelter-in-place experience as SHIP (Shelter-In-Place) life. Their bedroom is now their cabin and their lanai as the balcony They watch television and listen to music in their “entertainment venue.” They enjoy breakfast and lunch at the “buffet” at the kitchen counter and dinner at their dining room table.
Only one week into SHIP life, the Silversteins hit-err— an iceberg. That first Friday, they dug into their weekly pre-Shabbat house cleaning, which included changing the sheets, cleaning the toilet, and “swabbing the decks.” “We were rudely reminded that we are not just passengers,” Becky said ruefully.“We also are serving as the crew.”
Okay, not totally smooth sailing. But Becky and Mark, as many of us fortunate enough to be healthy and financially able to cruise safely through this pandemic, can always find a silver lining.
A version of this article originally appeared in the Jewish World News, a bi-weekly subscription-based newspaper in upstate New York in the June 25, 2020, issue.
Loved your latest blog. Silver linings abound. Could relate to much of your article. We even attended the wedding of our grandson Eric and his new bride Sarah via Zoom along with parents, grandparents and siblings. When their wedding, scheduled to take place in upstate NY along Lake Ontario on June 20, had been postponed to September, and then September seemed unattainable, they decided to keep their original June 20 date and were married with Eric’s dad officiating. We were scattered across the country from Washington, Nevada, and Colorado to Ohio, NY, FL and Philadelphia where the bride and groom were located. Each home had received a lovely box containing 2 small bottles of wine, 6 small gourmet cupcakes, and 2 vials of bubbles to help us toast the bride and groom and celebrate this special day in their lives. There will be a big celebration with all the usual trimmings when this pandemic is behind us and we can gather together in a large group. ❤️Conquers all!
Thanks, Marilyn, for sending on this new story. I concur with many of the examples you write as Bill and I enjoy our time together, even though he is working from home. Thanks, too for the photographs and the cute bear card! We missed you in Fraser this year which was quieter than last year. We enjoyed cooking together and I did 2 bike rides with Sam which I loved. I never thought I would be able to ride with my adult son-such a joyous surprise! The girls played and played with hardly a squabble. We managed the food better-bringing closet to the right amount. There was time for everyone to do what they wanted: reading, taking walks, bike rides and just hanging out together. We decided not to go into Grand Lake-there were lots of people around, but to stay at the house.
Hugs to you and Larry!
Marilyn (and Bill)
Sent from my iPhone
Marilyn – I loved reading all about you and Larry. Thank you for sharing. I continue to do well, and am so fortunate to be able to read, book after book. My Kindle is working overtime. I can finish a 400 page book in 2 days. The staff is so good to us here – they are like family – we are on a first name basis, and they keep coming up with more crossword puzzles, mazes, etc. for us to do. I play a weekly Scrabble game with the man who is our activity director. I beat him by a lot Tuesday, but most of the time, our scores are very close. Once, we actually wound up tied. He is the greatest man (cute too, ha ha) I have ever known – well, Howard was greater, but that’s a different thing. Take care, both of you. Love, Eve ________________________________
P.S. We are finally all getting tested next Tuesday. There have been no cases of the virus here, residents or staff. This is the Governors request. We thought we’d be tested sooner, but the state did all the nursing homes first. ________________________________
Doug and I can relate to your “new normal” agendas for daily life. We are at our summer lake home in Minnesota. Because I have some aging issues such as arthritis, we take a walk each day to try to help my strength. I learned to do virtual communication by having a virtual appointment with a doctor. I also had a Zoom chat with our Solwriters’ friends Ginny and Gail. I also engaged in a virtual Presiders’ meeting with the Solivita Book Circle. My book club up north has decided to meet three times this summer on someone’s deck or driveway with lawn chairs far away from one another. If we want a refreshment, we are to bring our own rather than the hostess having to provide us with snacks and coffee. Doug and I also read books and watch a movie on TV each night. Watching the game show “Wheel of Fortune” also exercises our brains while enjoying it. We were to have family company this year at the lake, but changes are happening because of the Virus. For example, we usually go to Canada to see friends and family in our home country, but now it’s not going to work for us to go north or them to come down south. I have picked up on a new creative activity since I’m retiring as a published author. I’m going to get back into painting like I did years ago. I will be getting help with that in Fran Bliek’s workshop. I want to be able to create my own greeting cards, but since I have not practiced enough with watercolors, In the meantime, I have been sketching some in a cartoon style with pencils and markers, making them very personal, and I’ve been getting delighted responses from those who’ve received them. I was also planning next winter in Florida to audition for a play and I already auditioned and was accepted into the Guys and Dolls choir. Unfortunately, neither of these may be able to be engaged in as concerts and rehearsals will probably be cancelled if we are still living in our current challenge, which is likely. I will still be with the Solwriters for some writing for fun. Hope you continue to have a healthy, happy summer, Marilyn.
Beautiful Marilyn made me smile
Thank you!!! Idalia